It's All In My Head - Lyrics Blog

Hey Sexies,
So I thought I'd break down the meaning behind the lyrics to our 10th single of the decade "It's All In My Head." It's really about the fear we create in our own heads, but read on for a line-by-line analysis.


It's All In My Head
(The Deacon)
© 2010

I'm feeling empty inside
inside my head
His mind is numb, no happiness, no fun…

My heart feels like there's a void
but I'm not dead
If there were a physical hole in his heart, he'd cease to exist in his physical body. Yet, we're full of spiritual holes and emotional holes and are still kicking around. Each of the 3 realms follow different rules, yet all 3 are affected by the others.

Fifteen-hundred miles in
Animal skin
Fifteen-hundred miles in
Original sin
Traveling deep within the mind, we find we're simply animals. And in that same space, we're uniquely human; able to create our own fate – for good or bad.

It's all in my head
Ultimately, we are the creators of our fears.

I place the blame upon you
sho' 'nuf not me
He blame's everyone else for his problems and refuses to take responsibility for his own actions.

We'll have a drink on the floor
then I must be
He can still hang out with his friends and pretend everything is all right. Until...

Traveling down that blood road
I use to heal
Traveling down that blood road
It's how I feel
He's back in his own negative space because it feels comforting.

It's all in my head
Most of our fears aren't based in reality; we conjure up our own demons.

I walk alone in the crowd
and they don't see
how really scared I'm am
but that can't be
He pretends to be confident and really believes that no one see through his façade.

Black hole sucking me in
event horizon
Black hole sucking me in
I'll dive right in
This is a metaphor for what happens in your own mind, there's a different perception from different angles.

(Geek alert: if you're not into science, just skip this…)

There is a debate about the properties of black holes amongst the world's two thought leaders in physics: Stephen Hawking and Leonard Susskind. I'm not taking sides on this one, but I'm using Susskind's perception as the metaphor. He believes that at the event horizon (the edge of a black hole) two, separate, events happen simultaneously depending on your vantage point. The first event being if you were looking from outside of the black hole, you would see a person for example freeze at the event horizon. The second event being if you were looking at the person from the event horizon, that person would seem like they were falling into the black hole. It's a theory, we don't know if it's true or not.


It's all in my head

I'm Losing Myself Again

Hey Sexies!
For your pleasure... our 7th single of the year, "I'm Losing Myself Again."



Rock Hard! Rock Sexy!
- The Deacon
www.MamasDirtyLilSecret.com

More Vaca Photos from PR

Hey Sexy,
Here are more photos from my time in PR this summer.

It rained almost every day, but it was still beautiful. None of the rain lasted really long. It was all over within a 1/2 hour. Then it went back to...

...this.

 I love the view from the roof of the hotel.

There was a crowd around the cart just a few minutes before this shot was taken. The owner of the cart needed to go get change, so everyone went back to their beach chairs to wait. Hence the lone ice cart which read "Cocanut, [sic], Rainbow, Passion Fruit. Very Good."

On the corner of Calle de San Justo (San Justo Street) in Old San Juan


I totally forgot what street this is, maybe Calle San Francisco...

A wooden crucifix on a door in Old San Juan

Looking down Calle de San Justo toward the bay

At night in the ally between Calle Fortaleza and San Francisco.

Rock Hard! Rock Sexy!
-The Deacon

Savior - 6th Single of the Decade!

On the Beach in Puerto Rico

The Deacon chillin' in San Juan...

Cray Cray - 5th Single of the Decade

Ebony Bones

Hey Sexies!
One of my new favorite shows to see - Ebony Bones! I caught her at the @brcnewyork 25th anniversary @summerstage.




Rock Hard! Rock Sexy!
- The Deacon
TheDeacon@MamasDirtyLilSecret.com

Come On, Shake Your Body Baby, Do The Conga

I reuinted with my good friend the conga this weekend. This is what transpired of our reunion. A percussion menage a trois of the conga, clave and bass drum with me playing all 3 simultaneously. Shake it, baby, shake it!!



Rock Hard! Rock Sexy!
- Damn

Girl on Grrl Action

"i tried to get her back 

but she said no

said she hated that i 

cheated and cheated 

and told me so

i tried to get her back 

she still said no

said that life with you 
was better somehow

and told me so

she only wants you

she only wants you my friend

you're not half the man i am

still she only wants you"

this is loosely based on a true series of events. . .

during a brief encounter with a temporary "dance"

partner, i got entangled with her ex. the relationship was

definitely not serious, but her ex certainly was.

one day this ex corners me in a club.

she then looks at me in a mocking indifference

and says "i don't know what the hell you're doing to her

but she only wants you. " and as she grabbed her

crouch and rolled her eyes, it was clear she felt

she lost the best thing she ever had. and to me of all people!!!

well, i took that gem of a moment in lesbian drama 

and turned it around putting myself in her shoes.

or adidas as it were. and the end result - 

"She Only Wants You". 

the pulsing tension of the walking bass line represents the
ex writhing with jealousy at the new thing getting busy with la femme du jour. 

the staccato bass during the verses represent the clinched teeth through
which the ex communicates her seething yet controlled anger.

since the relationship was purely sexual, i envisioned the

ex losing her mind and hoping of a better day:

(bridge)

"she will be mine, some day,

i will win her back some way,

she will be mine, it's just a matter of time

we'll be sitting back 
sweet sixty-nine

but now i consign. . . 

i know how much she fucks 

when she only wants you.

know what, whatever."

Rock Hard. Rock Sexy.

Damn Grrl

Dirty Li'l Elements of Style

As the Mama's Dirty Li'l Song production team continues to churn out soul punk songs for your listening pleasure, see if you can guess who wrote what.

The Deacon travels internally exploring feelings of doubt and confusion with no resolution in sight (ie. "Why Don't You Love Me", "When I Sell My Soul", "Who Am I" ).

Damn channels rock's golden bravado of blatant sexuality and love gone bad (ie. "I, Confess", "She Only Wants You" and the fist-pumping chorus "Hell 2the No").

As the months progress, fans are encouraged to place their bets and guess:
     "Which of the Two Wrote That Song for You"!!!

Good luck and tell us why you think who wrote what.

Rock Hard. Rock Sexy.